Whilst I strongly advocate not poking fun at the medical beliefs and practices of our ancestors, now and again it does no harm to remind ourselves of just how…unusual they could sometimes appear. And so I give you my top ten early modern recipes!
10) An excellent good medisian for an Eye that is bruised or blood shott by any crust
Take ass soon as the eye is hurt; take a house pidgin & cut ye vain that is under the winge & let it bleed into a sauser: and while it is hot wett some cloth and presently lay it to ye eye: and the next day dress it in like manner and with out doubt it will help you”
9) For the bloody flux (ie. Dystentry or severe diarrhoea)
Take A handkerchief dipped in the blood of a hare harte newly killed, dry this handkerchief in ye sun & after straine your beer being at least three weeks ould always through it and drink of it every morning and evening a pint’
8) Aproved thing for the Collick
Distill hens codds (testicles!) and and when they are pretty tender do then with a soft fier: not burn it: and when the collick troubles you take two spoonfuls of this — with a little sugar to make it pleasant to your taste.
7) How to make a water to kill the worems in hollow teeth;
buy three pence of Mercury and grinde it smale on a stone, then put it in a glass bottle or other glass: and stir it well then let the pacient get a quill of a goose and drop some of it therin and put it in to the holow tooth :3: times and use it two or :3: dayes and it will kill the worem and the tooth actch and never troble you ageine but in any wise let the pacient take heed (not) to swalowe any of it downe, but spitte it out
(so, just to be clear, dropping mercury straight into your teeth. Although there are mercury fillings today, probably not a good plan!)
6) Excelent for a consumption, Dropsey, Scurvey or Most Sickness whatever
Take cow dung fresh in May, dry it in ye oven to a fine powder, Give as much as will lye upon a sixpence in a draught of warme stronge beer 3 times a day, or you may distill cow dung in an ordinary still & take half a gill of ye water at a time, more or less three times a day
5) To make oyle of swallowes
Take as many swallowes as you can gette as 20 or 25, and put unto them lavender cotton, spiked, knotgrasse ribworte Balme valerian, rosemarie topps, strings of vines, cothan, plantain, walnut leaves sayd of virtue, mallows, alecroft etc etc
4) To Cuer the dead Palsey
Take a Fox, cleanse him, mince the flesh very smalle then dress a goose, pull out the Gutts; putt all the flesh of the fox into the goose and sowe her upp close; then roste them whilest any moisture will dropp out. Take the dripping and putt into it Rosemary; Lavender; Sage; Bettiny; The Weight of Ffower pints of each of them powdered, Anniseede; Ffennellseede, nutmeg, mace, Cloves, Pepper, ginger, Ffrankencence, the weight of sixpence of a peece of each of them Powdered, Boyle all twoe or three wallmes on a softe fire, put itt being strayned and Cooled into a pott. Annoynt the partye on the place grieved therewth and Rubb it in well before the fire.
3) For the falling sicknesse (epilepsy)
Take a live mole and cut the throat of it into a glass of white wine
And presently give it to the party to drink at the new and full of the moon
(viz) the day before the new, the day of the new, and the day after, and soe at the full. This will cure absolutely, if the party be not above forty yeares of age.
2) For the Frenzie or inflammation of the cauls of the brain,
Cause the juice of beets (beetroot juice) to be with a syringe squirted up into the patient’s nostrils, which will purge and cleanse his head exceedingly, and then give him posset ale to drinke in which violet leaf and lettice has been boiled and this will suddainly bring him to a verie temperate mildness’
And this week’s number 1…
1) For the bloody flux,
take a stag’s pizzle dried and grate it and give it in any drink, either in beer, ale or wine and it is most sovereign for any flux whatsoever.
Narrowly missing out were directions for constipation, which involved the aggrieved person squatting over a bucket of boiling milk ‘for as long as the party can bear it’…
And the cure for hydrocele (grossly swollen testicles) which involved injecting port wine into the affected parts!
Dr Alun Withey 
These are great! 🙂
The Dead Palsey recipe, #4, sounds like kind of delicious, actually. Goose and fox drippings with herbs and spices… sounds like gravy to me!
I kind of wonder about the mercury cure for toothache: would mercury kill the nerve?
Thanks Jonathan – I think it would more likely kill the patient! Seriously though I’m not sure quite what the effect of putting ‘neat’ mercury into a tooth cavity would be; I’m guessing not good! The side effects of ingesting even small amounts can be nerve and brain damage, tremors, numbness and high blood pressure. At least you’d forget about the toothache though.
“At least you’d forget about the toothache though.”
That may have been the point.
Fun read – you know, it makes me wonder what they will say about our medicine today in ~300 or 400 years.
Love this post… What a hoot!! In fact all your posts are wonderful!
Joni
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What are your references here? I think I own a 1700 Pharmacopia book (Bates) that lists your point #6. I haven’t finished all of it so perhaps I may find these remedies. My copy has a recipe for oil of earthworms, they need to be thoroughly dried first though..
They are taken from several different sixteenth and seventeenth-century recipe collections from around the country. Number 7, for example, comes from a Breconshire commonplace book whereas number one comes from a household recipe book from the Suffolk area. It’s difficult to place individual recipes to single publications; they might appear in print but are probably derived from oral tradition, meaning that they shifted from place to place with ease.
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Just a little something to brighten up a dull summer’s day!